Friday, March 12, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
So, about this blog...
EXT. JOSH'S HOUSE - LATE NIGHT
The house is dark both outside and in, save for a single lighted room on the eastern wing. There's a mild wind blowing the still-barren trees.
INT. JOSH'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Josh sits propped up on his bed, typing on his laptop. He occasionally breaks from writing to look around and observe the assortedparaphernalia he's outgrown. He cracks his knuckles, changes the music to something Pitchfork just reviewed, and begins typing again. He narrates his first blog post as he types it.
JOSH
(voice over)
You're probably thinking to yourself, "why the hell should I read your blog?" Valid question.
He reads back what he wrote aloud quickly. Pleased so far, he nods his head then continues.
JOSH
(voice over)
Film keeps me sane. It medicates me in the fast-paced dystopia of college. Talkin' about film gets me pumped so I wanna let you in on what I find. And I wanna hear your thoughts. After all, I'm no solipsist.
He leans back again to read his self-indulgent post aloud, but becomes distracted looking at his film collection favorites: Scorsese, Kubrick, Tarantino, Polanski, the Coen Brothers, Hitchcock.
CUT TO:
Extreme closeup of Josh's face. Entranced. As they camera zooms in on his eyes, we see him playing out an imaginary collaboration with all of the filmmakers mentioned above.
CUT TO:
Josh snaps out of his daydream as he hears his dog bark in the background. His gaze returns to the laptop. He takes a deep breath.
JOSH
(voice over)
The blog is mostly for posting news, previews, and reviews. Yeah. That's about it. Oh. For those of you who don't know, or those of you who should know but don't, this is a canted angle. Figure out the subtext yourself.
He moves his mouse to click on the G-Mail tab of Firefox, but stops,makes a pensive Jim Halpert-esque look at the camera and re-clicks on the blog post box to yet again type.
JOSH
(voice over)
Feel free to leave any comments, questions, concerns,
(aloud)
threats, solicitations, or... whatever. Enjoy.
Josh saves the post, checks his G-Mail only to find Facebook notifications and junk. He growls tiredly. Then he folds up his laptop, puts it on his desk, and walks to the light. Suddenly, out of nowhere,he hears a loud noise that sounds like a gerbil in a garbage disposal.
JOSH
What the...?
He looks at something off camera on the left. The cacophonous sound repeats. Josh's eyes widen and his jaw drops in horror. He exits the room, pursued by a bear.
EXT. JOSH'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
From outside the house, we see the single lighted room go dark. There's an audible struggle from inside that ends when an unknown creature is thrown out of the window. In a medium close up, Josh leans out of the window with the broken glass to yell after the now presumably dead thing.
JOSH
For God's sake, Jim, I won't help your Eywa make you a sequel. The Hurt Locker kicked Avatar's ass.
He looks into the camera.
JOSH
Cameron can't take a hint.
He looks outside at the motionless body.
JOSH
Well... maybe now he can.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
...or is it?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)